Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Needs an Employee Part 2
by Tina Redwood
Summary: A continuation of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Needs an Employee!


**This is a little present for all my patient readers. Apologies to late updates, etc. This one I wrote little by little for a while, so I hope you enjoy it!**

**Warning: While the first had a rating of "T", this one is rated "M" due to sexual content. Be aware of that!**

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The Weasley Twins,

I don't need a bloody job at your stupid store.

-Draco Malfoy, who's better than any of you.

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Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley,

Hey, I'm fine. Sorry for the late reply.

I've learned how to ride a unicycle. While juggling five axes.

I live day by day knowing that I'm much safer here.

Rena

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Ferret,

We don't need you. We've got Harry! MWAHHHAHA!!

-George Weasley, who's...this is immature, Malfoy.

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To Whom It May Concern

at the Ministry of Magic,

Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures

This is a letter to inform you that Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is not responsible for the past accident regarding Mr. Harry Potter.

You see, pencil cases are not creatures, not to mention magical creatures. They are not creatures! At all!

So just because one of them bit Mr. Potter on the neck it does not mean that we have to pay a fine to the Department for the Regulation and Control of "Magical Creatures", get my point?

Hope this settles quickly,

Fred Weasley and George Weasley

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Dear Harry,

I'm sorry to hear what happened. I really should have warned you about the evil pencil cases.

Love,

Ron.

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Rena,

Glad to hear that!

Any chance you're coming back to Britain?

Fred&George Weasley

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Ron,

I hate you.

Only if you could see me now.

Not Love,

Harry.

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Fred and George,

I heard about what happened. Can't you keep that little shop of yours quiet? It's embarrassing!

Your Father

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You two,

HAHAHAHHAHA!

Rena.

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Dad,

Our shop is fine. It was a little mistake. Harry's safe and sound at St. Mungo's.

Do you have anyone at the Ministry who'd like an exciting job here? Employees here get to organize humming mittens instead of boring files. Sounds great, huh?

George

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Dear Hermione, the most intelligent, beautiful witch on earth,

Hey! The position is open again!

We'll pay you double.

Fred

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Weasley Twins,

I regret wasting parchment, ink, and my owl's labour in sending you this, but don't you _dare _call me a ferret. Ever again.

Draco Malfoy

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To Whom It May Concern

at the Ministry of Magic,

Department for the Regulation and Control of Cursed Items,

Very funny.

Our pencil cases are not cursed. They are enchanted. To bite. And to attack. Ever heard of self defense?

We are not paying that fine. We paid for Mr. Potter's hospitalization, and now we have to, again, go through the trouble of finding another employee.

Fred and George Weasley

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Fred,

For the thousandth time, I do not want or need a job at your joke shop!

Hermione.

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Neville,

How would you like a job at the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes?

We have a lot of Herbology stuff, you know.

It's not as dangerous as rumored.

We have lots of Herbology-type things.

Like Herbologish candy sprouts.

Self-chopping Herbologian mini trees.

Herbology, Herbology, Herbology.

We also have enlargening condoms that smell like flowers. Sounds Herbological, doesn't it?

Herbologically,

George Weasley.

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Ferret,

Ferret.

Fred Weasley.

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Harry,

How ya doing?

Spent enough time at St. Mungo's, haven't you?

Brush it off, rub some dirt on it. It's time to get back to work!

Fred and George.

P.S.: We've allowed Ginny to visit there often. Thinkin' for ya, pal.

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Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Store,

Don't you dare try to coax my Neville into working at your store!

Mrs. Longbottom

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George,

Granny says I can't work at your store, but could you get those, er, condoms for me?

It's for a friend.

Neville

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To Whom It May Concern,

Hi, my name is Marriet Jones. I saw your job posting in Hogsmead and I am very interested.

Please consider me for the position. My resume and my photo are attached.

Thank you,

Marriet Jones.

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Dear Neville,

I'll be happy to ship you some of those condoms, Neville.

I gotta go- Fred just received a letter from this hot chick applying for a job here.

She is SEXY. Her resume says she used to work as a PORNSTAR.

Bye!

George

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Dear Miss Marriet Jones,

Thank you for applying.

We require our applicants to submit extra information not included in traditional resumes. Could you please send us the following:

1. Your age

2. Your height in feet and inches

3. Weight in pounds

4. Bra size

5. Favorite sex position in bed.

Please also submit three extra photos, one full-body picture in a swimsuit or less (this is for our uniform fittings...of course we will also measure you once you get here, and we'll be measuring your breasts size once again to confirm you submitted the correct information. All the _other_ information will be confirmed again, so please note that), one shot below the neck and above the stomach, and one free shot. Be creative! Be wild!

Thank you,

Fred and George Weasley.

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Redwick's Uniform Store,

We have decided to enforce uniforms at our store. For women, please make sure that the skirt is extra short. The top can be a tanktop that shows a lot of cleavage and with the words "Weasley" across the boobs. I mean chest.

This is pretty urgent.

Thanks!

Fred Weasley

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Dear Fred and George Weasley,

Here's my photos and the information. I hope to hear from you soon!

1. Age: Twenty

2. Height: 5 feet 6 inches

3. Weight: 115 pounds

4. Bra size: 36C

5. Favorite position: doggy-style and 69. I can't really decide which one I like more.

I hope the photos are alright! I didn't know what you wanted me to wear for the second and third photo, so I didn't wear anything.

Marriet.

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Harry,

Just to let you know, we won't be needing you even after you heal. We got a replacement.

Fred

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Dearest Marriet,

Please come in for an interview tomorrow.

Please also note that we will be checking to make sure all the information you submitted are correct. That includes, but is not limited to, checking your bra size and favorite sex position. You will also have to demonstrate that the past work experience you put on your resume (on having worked at SexyWithces Inc.) are credible. Be creative in your preparation for demonstration.

We will also be measuring you for our uniform. I'm not sure if we'll have the right tools for measuring, so we might have to go by hand.

Speaking of hands, we are going to require a strip search before you leave the store everyday.

Thank you,

George Weasley

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The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes store,

The uniforms are ready and as you ordered.

Redwick Uniform Store

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Dear Hannah,

Hey girl! I got a job!

It's at the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes store, and the interview was so _hot_. The twins there really know how to do their stuff! After fucking me nice and hard they said I could work there. Sweet.

I don't think I'll be doing a lot of actual _work_ around here, but it's gonna be so much fun. The uniform is so kinky, too, and my bosses have forbidden me from wearing underwear or bra during work hours. Aren't they just _adorable_?

I had my first day today, and the strip search turned me on so much that I just grabbed the two's cocks and gave them nice hot blowjobs right there.

I know I told you I'm done with the whole porn thing, but this is even better. And besides, it's not technically porn.

Love you, sweetie, write back!

Marriet


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